Me make fire

Don't panic. It's safely behind a fire guard.
Being complete pyromaniacs and loving lighting real fires at any opportunity we are always amused by those who seem somewhat afraid of them. Never has this been more obvious that in.....Canada? Hang on a minute. Don't they have a proud tradition of logging, lumberjacks and rustic cabins with woodsmoke rising from ...  er real fires? Well, you wouldn't know it now. Some sort of political correctness seems to have seeped into the Canadian firelighting culture. We once almost caused a riot when we threw some Christmas wrapping paper into the fireplace. Eight Canadians leapt to their feet.

What are you doing, they cried.
Er...burning some paper, responded my husband.
But what about the fumes?
What fumes?
You can't burn that stuff on fires. It's toxic, they answered as one.
OK, whatever.
We have one of those combustion fires in our flat in Montreal. It's a bit sissy really because it has a glass door in front of it, but nevertheless we like to light it and stare at the burning logs. Five minutes into it, we can hear the Canadians in the background saying, ooh I think it's a bit smoky. Shall we open the window?
As they let the -20C air drift into our living room, we just keep on staring into the flames. Canadians, you need to man-up over your fires.
PS No I don't want to move back to England, thank you. I like it here.


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